Redhanded
by SakineSamus
Summary: Link, I can explain why I'm in your room alone with your girlfriend, hugging her intimately." oneshot


**A/N: Dedicated to my favorite Nintendo/video game character, Mario. He needs more love and pairings. T.T Since Zelda is my favorite female Nintendo character, I decided to pair up Mario/Zelda(; I'm almost liking it even more than Link/Zelda! o.o!!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN MARIO, ZELDA, OR ANY OTHER CHARACTER IN HERE.**

It's-ah me, Mario! Oh I'll cut the crap, and the annoying accent everyone thinks I have. How come everyone thinks I have an Italian accent when in one of my cartoon series, I was fluent? Whatever, I won't talk more about that subject.

As you can see, I've been caught red-handed, by the green elf named Link. I didn't mean to be all alone with his girlfriend in his room, hugging her romantically like that, I swear.

It all started when I entered the new tournament of Smash Bros., which is now renamed as Brawl. My girlfriend, Peach Toadstool, and I were on our way there. The fans all believed our relationship was sturdy and well, adorable. Little did they know there was an unfaithful twist to it, and no Sir, I wasn't the one making the pretzel.

Peach is incredibly beautiful and sweet, which made most of the men in the mansion drool. Not only that, but she was _very_ unfaithful.

When the men wooed, she followed along with it, sometimes even in front of my face! During battle, she would flash her knickers around and bat her pretty eyelashes. I'm no pervert, so of course I prefer Peach wearing something that wouldn't flap around, but she insisted on wearing her lovely, poofy dress.

Everyone thinks of me as the nice guy. That's why they even openly flirt with Peach, thinking I wouldn't mind. They think I'm too gullible or oblivious to the fact they are trying to steal her away from me. Pathetic, absolutely pathetic.

I was getting exhausted of playing with her mind games. Her flirty self would grate my brain, frustrating me to no bitter end. Everytime I confronted her, she would always say the same thing, "Mario, you're just being to jealous! You have to trust me more!" Well, I'm sick of those words. I'm sick of dealing with the pain. My temper flares, but as the general nice, heroic reputation I harbour, my lips are hidden behind my thick, black moustache.

Although Peach is cheeky, I, too have a dark, unfaithful secret, that only I, and I alone know. Not even my loyal brother, Luigi knows, or else he'll start crying out PLAYER everytime I pass by him.

The moment she entered the previous competition, Melee, I've kept my eye on her secretly ever since. She had chocolate brown hair, and beautiful sapphire eyes that glistened in the sunlight or moonlight. Her skin is pale and delicate, like an expensive silk ready to be smoothened by a human hand.

She is Princess Zelda of Hyrule, but unfortunately, she is with someone else. Link and she had been dating for quite a while, about a year perhaps? Last tournament they finally recognized their love for each other and decided to give it a try. Sadly, she is only someone I can look at, but someone I can never have.

Such a beautiful, faithful princess, someone I can openly trust and love. She treats me with high-respect, unlike everyone else in this mansion.

Many people despise me, because I was the first and second year winner. I always knock them down like dominoes. People are jealous of me. They like cracking jokes about my occupation as a plumber. Luigi is a plumber, too, so why am I getting the heat for it? I guess this is my punishment for being the most popular guy in the Nintendo galaxy. Fame really does pay a price.

Here I am, swirling my pasta, recieving glares like I'm too fat to be eating the large portion on my plate. Peach is beside me, again, giggling over a commander of merceneries with blue spiky hair, Ike. Out of my irritation, I stab my greasy meatball with my plastic white fork and use it as a slingshot. The meat hurls and slams in right in the forehead. BAM!

"Ummm, Ike, you got something on your forehead," Peach cocks her head to the side ever so innocently. Embarrassed, Ike wipes off the grease with a single wipe with his hand. I hang my head over the dish, hiding my face with my bright red cap, trying to stiffle my laughter. I guess I acted a little mean there, huh?

Wonderful, the guilt kicks in. I'm too much of a hero to commit malicious acts towards people. I heave a sigh, shove the plate away from me, signaling that I'm finished so stupid people around me would stop staring, and head out of the dining room.

I'm furious and guilty at the same time, although I'm not sure how that works, but it happens I guess. There comes Link, the honorable Hero of Time, the way better-looking who wields the Master sword while I'm the one who wields the 'Master Plunger.' (The 'Master Plunger' was something I picked up by some Smashers who were gossiping about me.)

Don't get me wrong, I like Link. He's a cool guy, someone who can relate to me after saving people and princesses so frequently. It's a little embarrassing to admit this though, but I'm pretty jealous of the guy. Everyone praises him.

"Hey Mario," the totally awesome, 'hot' Link comes up to me.

"Hi-ah Link," I force my silly Italian accent on him.

"Could you bring this to Zelda for me," the Hylian elf offers me his grand sword, "I need her to polish this for me while I'm gone."

"Hmm, are you-ah sure you would want to walk around, ehh defenseless?" I ask politely.

"It's alright, I'm heavily equipped, and I'm just gonna hang out with Pit, Ike, and Marth," he shoves his sword into my arms and scurries along, without my consent, since I'm a pushover. To top things off, he lists other names of really handsome swordsmen, the ones I can't hang out with because I wield a freaking plunger that can't cut anyones' heads off.

"Here's the keys to my room, in case Zelda isn't in there yet," he burries the key into my hand, "and please tell her I won't be here until twelve o' clock or even later," he informs nonchalantly and leaves me, not even wondering if he's burdening me too much. I wouldn't find it necessary to protest, though, because I'm looking forward to seeing Zelda.

Clamboring up the stairs, I finally reach his room, which is quite further down the hall. I bet the people walking up and down the stairs are probably thinking mean comments like, "it's good for Mario to jog up the stairs, he needs more exercise!"

I knock on the door several times, hoping if Zelda was in there. No answer.

"Zelda?" I ask curiously. Assuming she wasn't in there, I was about to unlock the door until I saw the door knob twist on its own. The door cracked open, and there was her gorgeous face peeping through.

"Hi Mario," she squeaks, her weary smile broadening, "please do come in." I walk inside, the plain walls white and slightly chipped. This mansion was rather old, a good bargain, Master Hand claims.

"Uhhh, Link asked if you could-ah polish his sword," I tell her, her eyes wandering over the silver sword, "and he said that-ehh he won't be here until twelve o' clock or later," I memorize the information he had told me earlier.

"Oh, okay," gently I lay the sword on her frail-looking arms, her voice smothered in sheer disappointment. I sensed the hint of sorrow in her tone.

"You alright, ehh Zelda?" I concerned, although it was a stupid question to ask in the first place. She lifts her head, blinking to rid of the tears brimming in her eyes. To my surprise, my blue eyes widen myself.

"What's-ah wrong, Princess?" I'm trying to resist the urge to hold her.

"Uhh, it's nothing you should worry about, Mario," Zelda, with all her might, tries to cover her emotions, but her red nose and teary eyes are breaking her suppression.

"No, I want to help-ah," I convince her to share her problems. Knowing she could no longer hide, she engulfs her mouth with her gloved hand, and begins sobbing, beads of tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Mario, it's just that... Link never spends time with me," difficultily she confesses through sobs, "he doesn't seem to care about how lonely I feel, and how do I know exactly if he's being faithful to me? Everytime I confront him, he keeps telling me to put more trust in him, and ignores me."

My heart already ached in the beginning, but it hurt more when she stated her last sentence. We were in different worlds, but we were living in the same life. She had difficulties with her boyfriend which led to confrontations, but in the end, a cold shoulder even if all we ever did was love them.

The hard wall I built so painstackingly long was shattered immediately by this woman. She, who had the same demons as I did, the same heartbreaks and stretching faithfulness.

We hadn't prepared for this moment, though, when our everlasting faith towards her boyfriend and my girlfriend would soon be broken. Weak and longingly, I lovingly place my large hand and carress her cheek bone, while wiping the tears off her.

I know she's shocked, and if I were in her place, I would be, too. There was a deep silence, and I hoped she would not shove me, and spitefully label me something mean as everyone else did.

But she didn't, instead, a smile widened on her face.

"Zelda, I couldn't say this because I wanted to be faithful to Peach, but the truth is, I love you," I bravely confessed my feelings towards her. Tenderly, she holds my hand that was against her cheekbone, her eyes smiling along.

"Same with me, I love you, too, Mario," her voice as soft as a whisper, "I always admired your faith towards Peach, because I always saw how much of a flirt she was."

Soon we fell into a romantic embrace. I was holding her around her middle torso, since I was quite a short man. Zelda's arms wrapped around my pudgy neck.

Reality slipped through my fingers, and I couldn't grasp it during this moment. It was only me and her. I love her, and she loves me. Such a surrealistic, beautiful moment, or it would have been.

Out of the blue, Link barrels in, our precious moment burst into flames by his own fury. He scans the room and finds me with his girlfriend! His eyes are shap and narrows at us angrily, passing a message saying, "you better tell me what's going on or I'll rip you to shreds!"

When I thought there was nothing else to ruin this moment, out comes him. I'm stuck in this predicament, with no way out of it.

What reasons can I use? I found a speck of dirt on the back of Zelda's gown? I felt cold? I have an obsessive compulsive disorder to hug people randomly? My mind is about to explode, as I gulp from a large lump in my throat.

"Link, I can explain why I'm in your room all alone with your girlfriend, hugging her intimately," beads of sweat trickle down my temple. Here I go.

**A/N: The end is for you to decide, more like how Mario is gonna die, LOL! xD Poor thing...**

**I felt the need to write this, because I was getting so irritated of people dissing or thinking Mario is too ugly to be paired up with someone pretty. I completely disagree, and think it's a load of bull. Hope you enjoyed it. I'm loving Mario and Zelda as a couple even more, but it would never replace Marth/Zelda(;**


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